Dai Sharkey Project one 10/04/12

Dai Sharkey  Project one 2012
10/04/12

Well I'm not sure how to start once again but I suppose that's ok. I've written a few journals over recent years so hope this is an actual reflection of what's happening not just a collection of my drivelling’s.

I've started my project. Start date was 4th April 2012 according to my paperwork. To me it's a change but a continuation of what I'm already doing. The timing is impeccable and I hope that my music hits the shops with such good fortune and timing enabling me to achieve all I have in my head so that I can possibly chill out for a bit before I die.  (that was a bit morbid, ha,ha)

Yesterday I spoke to a friend who runs a community project called CTV, I've now made arrangements with his team to make a documentary/short film about my travels over the next six months, I also spoke to Mad Toms Crowd, another community music project, who are re-mixing a song of mine and doing an accompanying signing vid, so cool.

This week I have so many things to organize and as usual, I've no idea where to start. This whole venture for the last 18 months has been a testing time for me as I'm never sure how far I can push mind, having had it crash so many times and the episodes being so unpredictable. I'm learning to be wise, open, upfront, bringing me to a place of balance, tender balance but balance nonetheless.

I've learned about what triggers changes in my mood, the safety-nets I need in place and most importantly to limit all activities to what I feel capable of coping with at any point in time. Like you may have a checklist before you leave anywhere (keys, phone, wallet, fags) I have a checklist to monitor whats going on (in the real world).

It's been great to gently ease myself into normally unknown situations with re-assurance that it's all going to be alright.

I can only cope with doing anything by doing it a chip at a time but what I've started to 'trick' my mind into doing is to do twenty tiny things, one after the other, constantly changing what I'm doing all the time but contributing to many goals, in this way I can achieve greater things, as the constant concentration on any singular thing causes my mind to get so 'fuzzy' I can't achieve anything. Although the more confident I become in feeling like I'm getting to grips with my mind, the more I tread with trepidation.

I have hit a bit of a troubling stumbling block of late, when asked if one of the venues I play at was Disability accessible? To this I flippantly responded that there were some steps but all disabled visitors are well looked after (I've been playing there for years and seen it). I did however think about the compliance of all the venues I play at, and as I have not directly inquired I thought I shall make an approved list of those venues with accessibility to encourage all the artists and organisations I communicate with, to use.

I'll add things as and when they occur......should I date this?